Acupuncture Appointment/Prayers Needed

Ugh...I haven't been feeling very well. Sunday I woke up with a horrible hormonal migraine. I could not get rid of it to save my life. I laid in bed all day and only got out of bed to take a shower and climb right back in. I took all kinds of medicine and nothing was getting rid of it. Monday I went to work and I was running late. My stomach has been hurting a lot since my retrieval. It feels like they blew it up with air. I look like I'm 3-6 months pregnant. I'm very constipated again...I know that is TMI but its the truth. I told Mikie "I didn't know that one body could hold this much poop" He laughs at me and all the things I've said going through this journey. I told him to push on my stomach and sure enough it was as hard as a rock. I told him...No baby in there just poop. LOL! Man oh Man. I started back taking my constipation medicine hoping that I get some relief. My ovaries are very sore as well. The first day of my cycle is always the worse with cramps and I feel like I've been on my first day of my cycle for three days now. Today I literally caught myself waddling down the hallway at work. I thought to myself "Oh Lord, I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm already waddling." LOL I couldn't help but bust out laughing to myself. I wasn't looking forward to my acupuncture appointment at all. All I wanted today was my bed, medicine, and a heating pad. I got to my appointment and Chris came in all smiling (as he always does. I swear he is the happiest person in the world.) He could tell by the look on my face that something was wrong. He asked me how I was feeling and I described everything. First he was so excited to hear that they retrieved 16 eggs and that I currently have 13 baby Fishers growing. He then explained that he was going to give me some herbal medicine to take for the pain. I was thrilled when he said that because I still haven't gotten my pain medicine filled. I'm not lying when I say that I hate pain medication. He also said that he was going to put needles in a few different spots to help relieve the pain. Once he got all the needles in he pulled out this machine to hook up to a few of the needles that were on my stomach. He connected the wires to four of the needles and turned on the machine. It was a shocking sensation that hit the muscles in my stomach. If you have ever been to physical therapy and had shocking therapy done then you know exactly what I'm talking about. It felt like ants biting at me a little bit but overall it wasn't painful at all. And today..........HE PUT ONE IN MY FACE!!!!! We were talking away and he was putting all the needles in and reached over and put one in my face. Once it was in, I said "Someone forgot I don't like needles in the face" He felt so bad and was going to remove it but I told him no that it really wasn't that bad. I think he likes to put one on the face to help with the migraines. If it does help then he can poke my face all day long. There I go again over coming these fears of needles. Its not easy but its getting easier and easier. It was a nice and relaxing session today. I'm really beginning to like acupuncture. I've realized that since I've started that I'm not stressing as much over stuff. I mean I still have some stress but I'm not letting the stress take over me like I normally do.


Today before I went in acupuncture I received a text message from a friend who is going through IVF. She text me and said "Prayers please..Embryos aren't looking as strong as they would like tem too, they will transfer tomorrow" She is doing a fresh transfer and they transfer five days after egg retrieval. She wasn't suppose to transfer until Thursday but they moved up the day to tomorrow. My heart sank into my stomach when I read that. I knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. I've been down that road where you think its all over. I sent her a text back and told her Prayers were being said and that in Jesus Name her baby will survive and it will carry to full term. She explained how she was an emotional wreck. As I drove back to work from acupuncture I began to cry a little bit. I truly know what it feels like to pay 20K to find out that it didn't work. It sucks, it hurts, its emotional, etc. You begin to question your own faith and your own strength. You want to throw in the towel but you know that you are better than that. You want to scream at the top of your lungs and ask God "Why me? Why my huband? Why my baby embryo?" I couldn't even think straight the rest of the day at work. I've been thinking and praying hard for her. The funny thing is that we use to work together and haven't really talked since I moved jobs. We have reconnected through IVF and we are what you would call IVF sisters. Its crazy the sisterhood you gain from going through a similar struggle as someone else. Its a bond that I bet is never broken because we were there for each other in such a hard time of our life. Its because you two know the pain, the financial burden, and everything else that comes with the struggle. Everyone else tries to understand but they will not truly understand until they have walked in our shoes. I ask all of my blog supporters to throw in an extra prayer tonight for her. She has come a long way and I know she will continue to push through and hold her baby in her arms soon. Scientist are here to help the miracle get created but God is the one who creates all!! He will make a miracle happen! As we go through IVF or IUI or any other fertility treatment we have to remind ourselves that it is okay to be scared, to be worried, to question if its going to work...its part of being human. But we can never lose our faith in the man upstairs. He can move mountains and create miracles.




Tonight when I'm fixing to leave work and thinking about how much pain I'm in.....bam...I get a text message from a friend. She has no idea that I'm in a lot of pain because I haven't really told anyone and the text message says " The pain that you've been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming-Romans 8:18  Thinking of you and future baby fisher/s." Wow!!!! She hit it right on the money. I've been thinking these two days "How am I going to handle 9 months when I'm in so much pain over a simple egg retrieval" It hurts to walk, to bend down, to move too fast, etc. I feel like the biggest complainer. I get to the point where I think "Maybe I'm just not meant to carry a baby" And then the tears flow....No I am meant to carry a baby and I have every right to complain about my pain. I've gone through so much in the last few weeks.....more than most could ever imagine handling. I've been poked with a million needles, injected with hormones that have increased my levels in such a short period, my ovaries have been blown up to huge water balloons, a huge needles has gone inside and plucked all my eggs out,etc. So yes...I have every right to complain, waddle, and carry on. I'm going through all this to build my strength so that I can handle those 9 months and after those 9 months I will hold MY baby in my arms. When that day comes and I look at my miracle baby in the face....the past pains/needle pokes/breakdowns wont even cross my mind. I will finally know why I went through all that I did.




Only a few more days I will find out how many survived these five days and are being sent of for PGS testing!!!!! AHHH!!! I'm so anxious and I'm not going to lie...when I got that text from my friend a part of me wanted to call and check on my embryos but I didn't.