Double The Fun

Its been a crazy and fast week. It feels like yestersay that I was anxiously waiting for the second phone call after our beta test. The phone call that I felt would never come. We had big plans for the weekend until all the rain came. We were going to do our usual Memorial weekend lake/boat trip but the Lake was too flooded. Instead we spent the weekend cleaning. I was so proud of my husband's support in helping me deep clean. We decided to get rid of his office. One we never use it and two we need to make room for the baby/babies. It is a good thing we own a garbage company because we hauled off four truck loads of trash/junk. It felt so good to get rid of the clutter. We sure have gathered alot of clutter in the last 9 years. The home office had a counter top with three filing cabinets underneath. Mikie built it forever ago and we decided to move it to his mechanic shop. We spent all day Saturday doing home chores and all Sunday doing chores at the mechanic shop. My husband is such a big supporter when it comes to any task that I want to do. He may complain a little bit but he does it anyways! Since he gave me a 100% on Saturday around the house, I gave him a 100% getting the shop organized. We still have a few more weekends around the house to get it all in shape but we made progress this weekend. I didn't have much time to think about the ultrasound since we were so busy.

Monday night a huge storm came through and closed some freeways. I didn't have a way to work on Tuesday morning so I decided to work from home. I also didn't want to get stuck at work since they were expecting more rain. (I live 70 miles away from work). As I sat around working on Tuesday, my mind began to wonder. I was getting nervous and anxious for the ultrasound. What if they didn't find anything? What if this was a chemical pregnancy? What if, what if, what if!!!! Ahhh! I was driving myself crazy thinking all these things. I know everyone says to think positive and keep faith but it's easier said than done. After all that I've been through, I can't help but still lean on some negative thoughts. I never thought I would get a call that I was miscarrying after my first transfer. I never thought I would get two negative results after transfer two and three. I really never thought I would miscarry after this last transfer in February. Therfore, I can't help but let the past haunt me a little bit. I keep a smile on my face and push through the days to come but on the inside I'm freaking out. I was so ready for the ultrasound. I wanted to go into the doctor yesterday...lol. One of my nurses sent me a text saying she called dibs on doing my first ultrasound. I know I've said it before but I've truly been blessed with AWESOME nurses at HFI Katy location. They've always been more than just a nurse to me.

Last week I scheduled a dinner date with a friend that I haven't seen in ages. She recently went through a miscarriage and we've reconnected. We wanted to see each other and she wanted me to meet her husband. We had a nice dinner and ended up staying a while talking. I shared my journey and she shared hers. I admired her strength that she had to come out and talk about all the little details. Its been less than a month and she kept it together. She truly has no idea how strong she is. I know her pain too well and I have to say I'm proud to call her a friend. It's not an easy road to go down once you've lost a baby. Every pregnancy is a constant reminder and slap in the face. She has a coworker who found out she was pregnant around the same time. Its been hard for her but she is pushing through day by day. It's all you can do. Everyone had advice and words but advice is easier to give than to take. You have to allow yourself to feel every emotion. We all grieve in different ways as well. I do have to say that we all look at life differently too. You no longer worry about the small stuff and never take life for granted.  If you are reading this my friend, stay strong and keep pushing through. You are doing great and I'm so proud of you.

After dinner, I stopped by to check on Jade and the baby/babies. It was a little late but I was in the area. I had my chalkboard with me so we decided to make a sign. We took a few pictures and then I let Hayden draw on the board. He is so excited about this journey but even more excited that we are taking the babies. He does not want a brother or a sister. Lol. Of course we had to take our usual goofy picture together. Its a must do when we see each other. We even had to play tic tax toe on the board too. I just adore him so much. He has such a huge heart full of love just like his parents.

Well today was the big day. It was ultrasound day. A day that I truly didn't think Mikie and I would ever make it to. We never could get past the second beta. Today my friends, we made it. We arrived at the doctors office and all the nurses were so excited. They decided to do the ultrasound first. Jade and I went into the room so she could get undress from waist down. The nurse knocked on the door and they came in. One nurse, second nurse, and Mikie. It was a big ole party in the room. They teased Mikie and said "You aren't going to pass out on us, are you?" Lol. The wand went in Jade and the screen popped up. At first I didn't see anything and my heart sank. I've never been to an ultrasound; therefore, I didn't really know what to expect. A few seconds later...BAM...ITS TWINS!!!!! They both took and we are going to have twin girls!!! My heart was ready to explode and I wanted to bust out in tears. Not only are we going to have a baby but we are going to have TWO. Both of them are measuring at exactly 5 weeks, 5 days. Its a good sign that they are both the same size. It is very early and anything can happen; therfore, we need all the prayers to continue. Our journey is far from over but it is looking brighter.

We will continue to go to the doctor once a week until they release us to the OBGYN. We won't be released until the end of June. I'm so excited but it hit me......wait...I don't want to be released. Can Dr. Kim deliver my baby????? Ahhh! I've built such a good relationship with my office that I'm so scared to leave. Jade picked out our OBGYN and I have trust in her that this doctor will be amazing. I have been dealing with HFI Katy for over a year and I just can't imagine not seeing them every month or every week. Lol! It definitely will be weird leaving but I know they will show up to the hospital on delivery day. :)

Thank you everyone for your congrats comments, support, prayers, and love. All of you ROCK. We have the best support system ever. I wouldn't have been able to push through the days with out all of your support. Keep the prayers coming for my two babies. We want healthy babies and a smooth pregnancy for Jade.

Mikie and I at breakfast. He is in for DOUBLED trouble! He said he hopes they take after me because he was bad. I said, "Babe, I was no angel" Lol. 

The Fisher Twins!!!! 

Taken last night at Jade's house. 

The sign we made. 

Love my Hayden! :) 

The Last Two Weeks

The last two weeks have gone by so slow it seems. I guess because I've been so anxious to get the blood results. I've been thinking positive but couldn't help to fall back to negative thoughts. Its been a roller coaster of a journey.

So, everyone knows that Jade had a basket full of pee test. She began peeing on them day 1.5 for "experiment" purposes. Lol. She received a positive pee stick on day 4. (Which by the way is very soon) She peed on the pink line test and kept thinking she was seeing a line. She wasn't sure so on day 4 she decided to take a digital one. She recorded the digital test thinking until the results showed up. It was hilarious to hear her in the background. "Ugh hurry up." "Why are you taking so long" and then at the end of the video the test showed Pregnant 1-2 weeks. Jade screams in excitement. It was so funny. She sent me this text on day 4. I was going to opt out of knowing the results but it drove me too crazy. Mikie didn't want to know the results at all. I was going to be on his side but it drove me crazy knowing she was testing. I told Mikie that I wasn't going to find out. Lol. I'm not good at keeping secrets and plus if I didn't show a sign of sadness he would know the results. Throughout last week Jade kept sending me more pee stick results. She even made a few dub smash videos. I swear that girl is a hoot. She makes this journey so much fun.

Since Jade was getting a strong positive on the pee test, she called the doctors office to move up the beta test. They told her we could go in on Friday or Monday. I decided to do Monday and then a second test on Thursday. I wanted to have a second test result before I posted it on facebook. Mikie and I have always had a bad second beta test, and find out that we are miscarrying. Sunday night neither one of us got any sleep. We tossed and turned all night long. Monday morning came fast and it was time to get ready for our appointment. It was pouring down rain so hard on the way there. We arrived to the doctor at the same time as Jade and Hayden. Her poor son has not been feeling well. He was excited to see me and very happy to have me carry and baby him. When we got called back, Jade went and got her blood drawn. Mikie and I hung out with nurses and doctor. We laughed and shared stories as we always do. All of a sudden the nurse came around the corner with a serious look "Michael, I need to get some blood from you." The look on his face was priceless and we all busted out laughing. They love teasing him about needles. Lol! As we walked out the door the nurse said, "I will call you in 30 minutes with the results." We left the doctor and headed to Chick fil a to eat breakfast and wait on the phone call. And then we got the call......

JADE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! HER BETA IS 587!!!!

I was so excited but was not jumping for joy. We still had a mountain to climb to make it to second beta. Once we make it past the second beta, I would be more excited. The nurse said she wanted us back on Wednesday instead of Thursday.

I called my immediate  family and told them the news. Everyone was excited but I think they were anxious for the second test too. My Dad is out of town so I sent him a text saying "Dad, guess what." He writes back "Your gal is pregnant" I was on the phone with my mom when he sent the message. I didn't answer his text in time so he called me. I answered the phone and he said "Well was my guess right?" I said, "Yes". I was dying laughing so hard when I got off the phone with him because he said "Your gal". I already told Mikie that I feel like Jade is my lover and we are having a baby. Surrogacy is so awesome but a little weird too. I'm in Mikie's shoes now watching her go through everything that I went through. We laughed about it at the doctor on Wednesday. I had the nurses rolling so hard.

Wednesday rolled around and it was time for second beta. I slept okay on Tuesday night but I was still very anxious. I dread second beta test because I've gotten bad news in the past. Well we arrived at the doctor, took blood, and went to Chick fil a again. We waited for the call after breakfast. I had to run to the bathroom and Jade got worried " What if they call?" I said "Answer my phone" She said "No, I want you to know first." Lol. She felt pretty positive that it was going to go well but I think we made her a little nervous.  Well we got the call.....

JADE IS STILL PREGNANT AND HER LEVEL DOUBLED!!!!!!! ;)

I was smiling ear to ear and couldn't believe the news. Its for real....we are going to be parents. Mikie was floating on air with excitement. By the way, Jade's beta level should double every 48 hours. It doesn't mean that she has twins or anything. All we hope for now is a healthy baby or babies. One or two.... it doesn't matter to us.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for all the support and prayers. Our journey is far from over and we still need prayers. Please pray for a smooth pregnancy for Jade and for healthy baby(s). We will go next week for our first ultrasound. I can't wait to see a little pea growing. Dreams are finally becoming reality.

For those of you still struggling with fertility, don't give up. If I would have given up then my dreams would never come true.  It's a rough journey full of all kinds of emotions, but remember you are NOT alone. Everyone deserves their rainbow baby and I hope you get yours soon. Baby Dust to you all!!

All my presents from Kristina for getting a positive beta test!!!! :) 

Jade sent me this pee test on Sunday night before my first beta.  The pregnancy line is just as dark or darker than the control line.  

One of her dub smash videos lol.  

Thank you to Laurie for putting together my board. Thank you to Makayla for writing the saying out. 

Baby Fisher(s) Due Jan 2016!!!!

My sweet little Hayden at my doctors appointment on Monday. 

I love my sweet little nephew. He is such a happy baby now that his acid reflux medicine is working.  :) 

My first pregnancy announcement board when I got my first beta last time. 

The Waiting Game

Jade finished her bed rest this weekend. The last two times that I did a transfer the doctor said I could go to the store to walk around on Saturday. I went into Rosenberg on Saturday and rode with Jade and Ryan to Kristina's house. We hung out there all day playing with our sweet nephew, Hutch. Kristina and I ran to Target to get a few things. I ended up finding a clearance rack with Jade's favorite work out clothes. I bought her a few items for Mother's Day. I gave them to her when I got back and she was thrilled. She never buys anything for herself because she is cheap. I thought I was cheap but she beats me in that department. HA! She was very thankful for all the items. Her husband joked with me and said "I'm the husband, where is my gift." HA! Oh poor Ryan.

Sunday was Mother's Day. A day that everyone with fertility issues dreads each year. It is so crazy how Mother's Day means something different to you as you get older. I never imagined dreading it and not wanting to celebrate it. I also never dreamed that I would have this much trouble trying to conceive my own child. I'm so very thankful for my mother and I do not know what I would do without her. She has put up with a lot of hell from me. I've tested her temper, talked back, and done everything she said not to do. Of course this was all in my younger years when I thought I knew everything. She survived and I survived. I hope that I'm at least half the mom to my miracle baby as she was to me. I just pray that I get to celebrate Mother's Day with my miracle baby next year. I truly believe that everyone is a mother at heart. Some women may chose to mother their animals, nieces/nephews, or their friend's kids. If you have ever lost a child in a miscarriage...you are a mother. It doesn't matter how long the baby lived in your womb...you are a mother. I found out that an old friend of mine just recently went through a miscarriage. As soon as I saw the post on facebook, my heart broke. I knew every single feeling she was experiencing. I knew exactly what she was probably thinking. You doubt yourself as a mother, you feel ashamed, you blame yourself, and you feel like you are a failure. The truth is, you are none of those things. We will never understand why we are chosen to go through certain situations. I do know that you find a strength that you never knew you had, and you will look at mother hood in a totally different way than someone else who didn't have a struggle. You have to remember that no matter how strong of a person you are...there will be days where you will break down and feel weak. It's part of the journey and part of the process. You can lean on faith and God all you want but some days you just break. Its okay to break down and feel all your emotions. I tried to be that person who would push away the tears, but I felt that only made it worse down the road. I finally came to terms with the break downs and would just allow myself to cry.

Mikie has been very shocked by the amount of people who have been experiencing issues. I explained to him that miscarriages, IVF, IUI, and all fertility issues have always been hush hush. Lately, more women are starting to come out and talk about their journeys. I think you should voice your journey and let others know that they are not alone. Our journey is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just like cancer or any other sickness. You are diagnosed and given options. Some don't come out so lucky with their options and some do. Speaking out helps you find others who are on the same journey as you. You find a support system that you never imagined having. Don't try to fight the battle alone because you are NOT alone.

The morning of Mother's Day Mikie woke me up and said "Good Morning, Babe. The dogs and I say Happy Mother's Day." It was so cute and thoughtful. He also had some roses on the table for me with a little balloon that said "Happy Mother's Day". No matter what, he always tries to make me feel important. I would have been perfectly fine with no flowers at all but he always out does himself. We got up and drove into town to take his mother out for lunch. We took her to Texas Roadhouse, her favorite place. The last time I was at Texas Roadhouse was for Mikie's birthday (back in February) when I was pregnant. I did very well at lunch and wasn't sad a bit. I kept thinking back to that night and all the excitement I had. I thought back to that whole week when I knew I was pregnant. I didn't break down and cry. I was content and very happy. I don't know why I miscarried this last time but all I do know is that I have Jade now. All I could think about is how I want this two weeks to hurry up and pass. HA!

I'm not good at waiting for results. My nerves and stress level has been high this week. My sister sent me a text message saying "All the odds are in your favor for Jade getting pregnant- she has done it before with no issues and she has a child of her own." I never looked at it like that and my sister is right. I've been keeping myself busy this week between house chores, catching up on Netflix show, and working late. I have a lot of faith for this round but I have to always prepare myself for the worse.

Well, I hope all you had a wonderful Mother's Day. If you are still struggling to conceive...DONT GIVE UP!! And remember that you are still a mother at heart. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers, love, and support. I'm shocked by the out pour of love that Mikie and I have received. Our friends are throwing us a benefit in Sealy on August 15th. (We had to change the date since some stuff came up) We've had so many people reach out to us with donations for the benefit since the day it was announced. Mikie and I will never be able to thank you enough for everything. We truly have the BEST support system around. I don't know if I will post again before result day...depends on if I have anything to share. The next time you read my blog is should be RESULT DAY!!!!!!! I hope its a happy day!!
:)

My Flowers from the hubby and dogs! ;) 

Kristina and I this past weekend

Auntie Tori snuggled with baby Hutch

Transfer Day!

Wednesday night I worked a little late to prepare to be off for the transfer. When I got into town, I ran by Walmart to buy the last items for Jade's basket. I mentioned to her that I making her a basket. She said "I hope it is full of pregnancy tests" A light bulb went off in my head...Why didn't I think of that. I guess I didn't think about them because I was making a basket on items she liked. I questioned Ryan to get the details on what she liked. I got her a bunch of workout clothes because she wears them all the time. Her favorite candy is sour patch straws and mint gum. I got her a decorative water bottle and my mom got her a stuffed kangaroo with a baby in its belly. When I went to Walmart, I bought two name brand boxes of pregnancy test. The boxes had three test in each. I then found some cheap ones for 88 cents and decided to buy three boxes of those too. I've seen other women post those types of test on facebook so they must work. Jade only likes the red dye ones because they show up better. I have to admit that I was a little embarrassed carrying 5 boxes of pregnancy test. One I look under age and two the faces of people were priceless. I decided to go through the self check out. Once I got home I put together the basket and sent a picture to Jade's sister in law and mother in law. They loved it and said she would love it.

Transfer day was today!!!! We had to check in at 930 am and the transfer was scheduled for 1030 am. Mikie and I had to get up early because we had to go pick up Jade first and then head to the clinic in Houston. It was an early morning but we both were so excited. I woke up at 130 am wide awake. I had to make myself go back to sleep. We arrived at Jade's house and she was finishing up last minute touches to her make up. Hayden was sitting in the hallway waiting. Once she got dressed we got into the car and dropped Hayden off at daycare. He showed her all her goodies from the basket. She loved everything she got. She was shocked that I got her the type of shirts she loves the most. She proceeded to hand me a gift. I pulled it out of the box and it was a necklace. It was beautiful and looked exactly like something I would pick out. It has a pink elephant to represent our girl/girls.

We were debating on rather to go towards Katy or take 59. We decided to take 59 and it was packed. Mikie was getting nervous that we would arrive late. We calmed him down and actually arrived 30 minutes early. We decided to go eat Chick fila for breakfast. At breakfast, we talked about what Jade should expect and we shared a few laughs. It was getting closer and closer to time.

When we arrived to the clinic there wasn't any front parking so Mikie dropped us off at the front door. He had to go park in the parking garage. Jade and I went to check in and fill out a few forms. Once she was done it was time to wait. We only waited for about 15 minutes and they called her name. She went to the back alone to get in her gown and take vitals. Once they were done with that then the nurse came to get Mikie and I. We both had to put on hair nets, sterile booties, and a jump suit over our clothes. It was Mikies 5th time to do this so he had the routine down. It was my first time and it was weird. Lol. Dr. Kim came in to talk and show us our embryos. He was very pleased with the way they thawed. It was transfer time shortly after he left. The nurses came to get us all and go to operating room. I have to say that it was a very weird feeling sitting in a chair and not lying on the table. I got to watch from a different view and see exactly what they do. I sat right by her head and Mikie sat right next to me. He rubbed my back and comforted me. I was almost ready to burst into tears. I was so happy that it was finally happening and that Jade has opened her heart up to do this for us. I was also feeling a little emotional wishing that it was me on the table. I didn't cry and overall I felt excited. I just can't believe that our dreams of becoming parents is possibly happening as I write this blog.

After the transfer, we went to the recovery room with Jade. She had to lay down for 20 minutes before we could be released. Dr. Kim came in to check on us before we left. As he was walking out Jade said "Hey Dr. Kim, Thank you for knocking me up today." (She was on Valium) We all busted out laughing. Dr. Kim looked at us, smiled, and said "She is never lost for words" Lol. Once they allowed Jade to get dressed, Mikie and I left the room. I told her that I was taking her cell phone with me. When she got done getting dressed and using the bathroom, she began to freak out about her cell phone. "I need to go look in my room for my phone" I said "Jade I have your phone and I told you that I was taking it" She said "Oh you did." Lol

On the way home we stopped at McDonald's to get her some french fries. It is a superstition to eat fries after the transfer. She ate the heck out of those fries and talked about the most random things. The valium made her funny as heck.

Mikie drove back to Sealy so we could drop him off. I took Jade back to her house and hung out with her all day. I know exactly how Mikie feels now. He always worried about me during bedrest and I feel the same way with Jade. I didn't want to leave tonight. Hayden came home from daycare and asked me "What did yall do today" I said, "We transferred the babies in your mommy's tummy" He ran over to Jade and pulled her shirt up and began to rub her belly. It was the most precious thing ever.

I want to thank all of you for reaching out to us today. Your support, love, and prayers means the world to us. I appreciate all of you who are following the Team Baby Fisher page. It was so nice to post pictures on there today as the process was taking place. Please keep your prayers coming for the next two weeks. My heart is full of happiness at the moment. I can't believe that my dreams of becoming a mom are soon going to come true. I have the best surrogate carrying our child.

#TEAMBABYFISHER

Love my boyfriend, Hayden! 

Beautiful embryos

Babies are in! #stickyvibes 

Transfer Right around the Corner

Last week was a rough one for me. I finally broke down on Thursday and couldn't stop crying. All my emotions and feelings had finally caught up to me. Its been two months since my last miscarriage and I never gave myself time to grieve. I pushed it out of my head and acted like it never happened. I realized that we were less than a week away from the transfer and I wasn't excited. I do not regret my decision on surrogacy and I'm so happy with our choice in carrier. But I just was feeling all sorts of emotions. I just let myself cry and let myself feel all the emotions. I'm not super woman and as hard as I try....some days I just can't smile. My heart has been broken several times during this roller coaster journey. Each lost and each let down has taken a piece of my heart. I've been so lucky to have such a big support system that I managed to pick myself up off the floor and go on. My husband is my biggest rock and supporter. He is there for me throughout it all and never misses a chance to be by my side. I know I've said it a hundred times but we have grown so much as a married couple. We've learned how to communicate on the hardest subjects, on our disagreements, and about life in general. We tell each other every thing! I can't believe in June we will celebrate three wonderful years as husband and wife and 9 years together total.

Friday, Jade had her final appointment before the transfer. I didn't go into work on Friday and showed up to the appointment early. She sent me a text with a picture of her and her son. I wrote back how excited I was to see my little boyfriend. They showed up and Hayden was acting all shy. We took a picture together and waited to be called. During the appointment, Hayden asked all sorts of questions. He understands for the most part about surrogacy. His favorite part of it all is that the baby doesn't come home with them. Ha! He loves being the only child. Jade's ultrasound and blood work came back GREAT. She was told to continue on Estrace pills and start progesterone injections on Saturday. She has to do the injections every night at the same time. I'm so glad that it's her and not me. I hated those shots with a passion. According to the video I watched she seems to be taking them like a champ. I'm pretty sure she would do anything and everything to make our dreams come true. She truly has the biggest heart. I thank God every day for putting her in my life. I have to say that she has great communication with me and lets me know everything that is going on. I believe that you should have someone who is going to be open and communicate with you.

On Saturday, my best friend decided she would color my hair for me. She recently decided to no longer do hair for the time being because she wants to be a stay at home mom. She wanted to do me a favor and do my hair. I wanted some blonde back in but wanted it to look natural. I have to say she is very talented and did a great job. I got to play with my sweet nephew and get my hair done...it was a win win for me.

Since Jade's appointment went well on Friday the transfer is still scheduled for May 7th. Tomorrow we will find out exactly what time we should be at the clinic. I have to say that I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. I'm excited, scared, nervous, anxious, etc. I've been leaning on my faith and praying that it works. I'm staying positive and trying to push all negative thoughts away. No matter what the outcome, Mikie and I have always said that we have each other. We will continue to do whatever we need to do to make our dreams come true.

I started working out every night and feel much better. I'm starting to get back to my old self again. I sent Jade a goofy picture of me working out and she told me to slow down or I'm going to make her look weak. Lol. I'm so glad that we are more on a friendship/family level then a business relationship. I believe it makes my journey alot easier.

My friend Joy and Jade have set up a facebook page called Team Baby Fisher. You can look up the page and like it. We will do our best to keep you all posted. Sometimes Jade and I don't have the energy to post a blog so it will be easier to do a status. I want to thank all of you for your continued support, prayers, and love. Mikie and I feel so greateful to have such wonderful people in our life. Please continue you prayers...Thursday is a BIG day. #teambabyfisher

PS. Thank YOU for reading my 500 page blog. ;)

Before picture taken in October and After picture taken on Saturday

Snuggles with my Hutchy poo. He turned 2 months old on Saturday.

Feeding Baby Hutch. I love this little dude.

My beautiful Surro Mom Jade and she was a little too happy to be so close to that needle. 

My boyfriend at the doctors appointment with me