Monday night a huge storm came through and closed some freeways. I didn't have a way to work on Tuesday morning so I decided to work from home. I also didn't want to get stuck at work since they were expecting more rain. (I live 70 miles away from work). As I sat around working on Tuesday, my mind began to wonder. I was getting nervous and anxious for the ultrasound. What if they didn't find anything? What if this was a chemical pregnancy? What if, what if, what if!!!! Ahhh! I was driving myself crazy thinking all these things. I know everyone says to think positive and keep faith but it's easier said than done. After all that I've been through, I can't help but still lean on some negative thoughts. I never thought I would get a call that I was miscarrying after my first transfer. I never thought I would get two negative results after transfer two and three. I really never thought I would miscarry after this last transfer in February. Therfore, I can't help but let the past haunt me a little bit. I keep a smile on my face and push through the days to come but on the inside I'm freaking out. I was so ready for the ultrasound. I wanted to go into the doctor yesterday...lol. One of my nurses sent me a text saying she called dibs on doing my first ultrasound. I know I've said it before but I've truly been blessed with AWESOME nurses at HFI Katy location. They've always been more than just a nurse to me.
Last week I scheduled a dinner date with a friend that I haven't seen in ages. She recently went through a miscarriage and we've reconnected. We wanted to see each other and she wanted me to meet her husband. We had a nice dinner and ended up staying a while talking. I shared my journey and she shared hers. I admired her strength that she had to come out and talk about all the little details. Its been less than a month and she kept it together. She truly has no idea how strong she is. I know her pain too well and I have to say I'm proud to call her a friend. It's not an easy road to go down once you've lost a baby. Every pregnancy is a constant reminder and slap in the face. She has a coworker who found out she was pregnant around the same time. Its been hard for her but she is pushing through day by day. It's all you can do. Everyone had advice and words but advice is easier to give than to take. You have to allow yourself to feel every emotion. We all grieve in different ways as well. I do have to say that we all look at life differently too. You no longer worry about the small stuff and never take life for granted. If you are reading this my friend, stay strong and keep pushing through. You are doing great and I'm so proud of you.
After dinner, I stopped by to check on Jade and the baby/babies. It was a little late but I was in the area. I had my chalkboard with me so we decided to make a sign. We took a few pictures and then I let Hayden draw on the board. He is so excited about this journey but even more excited that we are taking the babies. He does not want a brother or a sister. Lol. Of course we had to take our usual goofy picture together. Its a must do when we see each other. We even had to play tic tax toe on the board too. I just adore him so much. He has such a huge heart full of love just like his parents.
Well today was the big day. It was ultrasound day. A day that I truly didn't think Mikie and I would ever make it to. We never could get past the second beta. Today my friends, we made it. We arrived at the doctors office and all the nurses were so excited. They decided to do the ultrasound first. Jade and I went into the room so she could get undress from waist down. The nurse knocked on the door and they came in. One nurse, second nurse, and Mikie. It was a big ole party in the room. They teased Mikie and said "You aren't going to pass out on us, are you?" Lol. The wand went in Jade and the screen popped up. At first I didn't see anything and my heart sank. I've never been to an ultrasound; therefore, I didn't really know what to expect. A few seconds later...BAM...ITS TWINS!!!!! They both took and we are going to have twin girls!!! My heart was ready to explode and I wanted to bust out in tears. Not only are we going to have a baby but we are going to have TWO. Both of them are measuring at exactly 5 weeks, 5 days. Its a good sign that they are both the same size. It is very early and anything can happen; therfore, we need all the prayers to continue. Our journey is far from over but it is looking brighter.
We will continue to go to the doctor once a week until they release us to the OBGYN. We won't be released until the end of June. I'm so excited but it hit me......wait...I don't want to be released. Can Dr. Kim deliver my baby????? Ahhh! I've built such a good relationship with my office that I'm so scared to leave. Jade picked out our OBGYN and I have trust in her that this doctor will be amazing. I have been dealing with HFI Katy for over a year and I just can't imagine not seeing them every month or every week. Lol! It definitely will be weird leaving but I know they will show up to the hospital on delivery day. :)
Thank you everyone for your congrats comments, support, prayers, and love. All of you ROCK. We have the best support system ever. I wouldn't have been able to push through the days with out all of your support. Keep the prayers coming for my two babies. We want healthy babies and a smooth pregnancy for Jade.
Mikie and I at breakfast. He is in for DOUBLED trouble! He said he hopes they take after me because he was bad. I said, "Babe, I was no angel" Lol.
The Fisher Twins!!!!
Taken last night at Jade's house.
The sign we made.
Love my Hayden! :)
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