The Fisher Journey: Transfer Right around the Corner

Last week was a rough one for me. I finally broke down on Thursday and couldn't stop crying. All my emotions and feelings had finally caught up to me. Its been two months since my last miscarriage and I never gave myself time to grieve. I pushed it out of my head and acted like it never happened. I realized that we were less than a week away from the transfer and I wasn't excited. I do not regret my decision on surrogacy and I'm so happy with our choice in carrier. But I just was feeling all sorts of emotions. I just let myself cry and let myself feel all the emotions. I'm not super woman and as hard as I try....some days I just can't smile. My heart has been broken several times during this roller coaster journey. Each lost and each let down has taken a piece of my heart. I've been so lucky to have such a big support system that I managed to pick myself up off the floor and go on. My husband is my biggest rock and supporter. He is there for me throughout it all and never misses a chance to be by my side. I know I've said it a hundred times but we have grown so much as a married couple. We've learned how to communicate on the hardest subjects, on our disagreements, and about life in general. We tell each other every thing! I can't believe in June we will celebrate three wonderful years as husband and wife and 9 years together total.

Friday, Jade had her final appointment before the transfer. I didn't go into work on Friday and showed up to the appointment early. She sent me a text with a picture of her and her son. I wrote back how excited I was to see my little boyfriend. They showed up and Hayden was acting all shy. We took a picture together and waited to be called. During the appointment, Hayden asked all sorts of questions. He understands for the most part about surrogacy. His favorite part of it all is that the baby doesn't come home with them. Ha! He loves being the only child. Jade's ultrasound and blood work came back GREAT. She was told to continue on Estrace pills and start progesterone injections on Saturday. She has to do the injections every night at the same time. I'm so glad that it's her and not me. I hated those shots with a passion. According to the video I watched she seems to be taking them like a champ. I'm pretty sure she would do anything and everything to make our dreams come true. She truly has the biggest heart. I thank God every day for putting her in my life. I have to say that she has great communication with me and lets me know everything that is going on. I believe that you should have someone who is going to be open and communicate with you.

On Saturday, my best friend decided she would color my hair for me. She recently decided to no longer do hair for the time being because she wants to be a stay at home mom. She wanted to do me a favor and do my hair. I wanted some blonde back in but wanted it to look natural. I have to say she is very talented and did a great job. I got to play with my sweet nephew and get my hair done...it was a win win for me.

Since Jade's appointment went well on Friday the transfer is still scheduled for May 7th. Tomorrow we will find out exactly what time we should be at the clinic. I have to say that I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. I'm excited, scared, nervous, anxious, etc. I've been leaning on my faith and praying that it works. I'm staying positive and trying to push all negative thoughts away. No matter what the outcome, Mikie and I have always said that we have each other. We will continue to do whatever we need to do to make our dreams come true.

I started working out every night and feel much better. I'm starting to get back to my old self again. I sent Jade a goofy picture of me working out and she told me to slow down or I'm going to make her look weak. Lol. I'm so glad that we are more on a friendship/family level then a business relationship. I believe it makes my journey alot easier.

My friend Joy and Jade have set up a facebook page called Team Baby Fisher. You can look up the page and like it. We will do our best to keep you all posted. Sometimes Jade and I don't have the energy to post a blog so it will be easier to do a status. I want to thank all of you for your continued support, prayers, and love. Mikie and I feel so greateful to have such wonderful people in our life. Please continue you prayers...Thursday is a BIG day. #teambabyfisher

PS. Thank YOU for reading my 500 page blog. ;)